tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14745177431154489922012-02-10T09:35:16.748-08:00Classic movie and showbiz quotes delivered daily!Adminnoreply@blogger.comBlogger31451100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1474517743115448992.post-35589941929775853412012-02-10T09:35:00.001-08:002012-02-10T09:35:16.776-08:00

Richard Fish: Make enough money, and everything else will follow. Quote me. That’s a Fishism. Ally McbealMike Nelson: You could shave with her voice. Mystery Science Theater 3000 Pg2Will: I won’t be jumped! Mary BryantLil: So when I was 18 I left home and came here to Chicago. Johnny Dangerously: Uh Lil, this ain’t Chicago. We’re in New York. Lil: You’re kidding. (Pause) Lil: Well, New York,

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Roy Marcus Cohn: Senator, I’ve seen enough names working for Pat McCarran. You’re going to be hauling up Jew after Jew... all those European names, and with a McCarthy and a Kennedy together, it’s gonna look like an Irish/Catholic-run pogrom. That will discredit everything you do, and I know, because I’m a Jew. Senator Joseph McCarthy: But they’re Communists. They betrayed the faith of the

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Robert McNamara: We’d look pretty bad shooting up a freighter full of baby food. Thirteen DaysMushu: You know, we have to work on your people skills. MulanVladimir Lem: Hypothetically, if the only choice you’ve got is to do the wrong thing, then it’s not really the *wrong* thing, is it? It’s more like fate. Max Payne 2 The Fall Of Max Payne(David Spade and Sean Penn discuss tattoos) David Spade:

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(about Homer going to college) Jim Hickam: Yeah, on a science fiction scholarship, maybe. October SkyHindu Woman: (while dancing at a wedding reception) French Foreign Legion? John Beckwith: Yeah, we lost a lot of good men out there. (cut to another reception) Bridesmaid: Mount Everest? Jeremy Grey: I don’t want to talk about it because we lost a lot of good men out there. (cut to another

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Lattis: I am strangely drawn to this inverted cloth funnel and its wonderful softness. The Lost Skeleton Of CadavraAnthony: You told, you told your friend Bernice I’m some kind of jet pilot? Grace: What was I supposed to say, they stuck you in an insane asylum? Anthony: It wasn’t an insane asylum, Grace. I explained to you back then that it was for exhaustion. Grace: Exhaustion? Anthony: Yes,

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Johnny Minute: You’re a big girl, aren’t you? Jackie: I was captain of the volleyball team. Women In RevoltVictor: Um... Yeah. You smell really good, but, uh... I don’t know who you are. The Rules Of AttractionTom Servo: Oh God, here we go. The old "I could have been a dancer" story. Mystery Science Theater 3000 Pg2Gussie’s Mother-in-Law: I was with your wife, Sarah, and she gave birth to twins.

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Spot: (voice over) I was like a Slinky on an escalator, I was getting nowhere fast. 101 Dalmatians The Series(to Jordan, about why it’s important for them to fight) Dr Cox: You’re a wonderful and passionate person, and that’s why I can see myself with you when I’m 70 and you’re 65 and your face is 40 and your boobs are 29. Jordan: My face will never look 40. ScrubsDanny McCoy: (upon arriving at

Adminnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1474517743115448992.post-48758061048462552892012-02-08T15:35:00.001-08:002012-02-08T15:35:18.227-08:00

(Exploring the dark surface of a planet.) Starbuck: I wonder what this looks like in the daytime? Boomer: Hey, this IS the daytime. Starbuck: Oooh... lovely... Battlestar GalacticaKip Mayfield: Do I look like a sheriff? Morg Hickman: You look more like a sheriff that the sheriff does. The Tin StarWilbur Grey: I’ve had this brain for thirty years. It hasn’t done me any good! Bud Abbott Lou

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Terrance: I’m going to put on a pirate costume. (doorbell rings) Delivery Man: Special delivery for Terrance. Philip: I’ll take that. Delivery Man: Sign here, and here, and here, and here, and here... and here. Philip: Oh Terrance, you got a letter. Terrance: Shiver me timbers Philip. At this rate I’ll never get to my Kraft dinner. South ParkIsland Emissary: My employer would like you to

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Centurion: Where is Brian of Nazareth? Brian: You sanctimonious bastards! Centurion: I have an order for his release! Brian: You stupid bastards! Stan: Uh, I’m Brian of Nazareth. Brian: What? Stan: Yeah, I - I - I’m Brian of Nazareth. Centurion: Take him down! Brian: I’m Brian of Nazareth! Victim #1: Eh, I’m Brian! Mr Big Nose: I’m Brian! Victim #2: Look, I’m Brian! Brian: I’m Brian!

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Dr Bill Perlman: He and your wife are the only survivors I can’t reach. She won’t talk and he won’t admit the crash was bad. Manny Rodrigo: Is that right? He says it was good? Dr Bill Perlman: Says it was the best thing that ever happened to him. Fearless(Marv has been mistaken for Goldie’s murderer) Marv: You crazy god-damn broad! Just take a look at this mug. Would any of you dames let me

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Tom: (while in front of the door) Quick, we can get that plank of wood to jam underneath the door. (is hit in the balls by the plank of wood) Tom: (in pain) Oh, my balls. (George gives bowling balls to Tom and is hit in the balls again) Tom: (in pain) Oh... Jesus. (Jesus is being bought to him, but Tom pushes George away) Scary Movie 3Steve Burnside: (about to kill Clair in his Tyrant form) ...

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Mufasa: Simba, I’m very disappointed in you! Young Simba: I know. Mufasa: You could have been killed! You deliberately disobeyed me! And what’s worse: you put Nala in danger! Young Simba: I was just trying to be brave like you. Mufasa: I’m only brave when I have to be! Simba, being brave doesn’t mean you go looking for trouble! Young Simba: But you’re not scared of anything! Mufasa: Well,

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(while inspecting a suspicious mole on the Janitor’s penis) J.D.: Hmm... it looks benign. Janitor: Yeah, ’bout nine, nine and half. ScrubsDustin: (while Matt and Dustin are fighting in the van) I’m gonna snap your neck like a glow stick! GrindFran: Do you know that in Tibet when they want something they give something away? Bernard: Do they? That must be why they’re such a dominant global power

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Max Rourke: You know how I can tell you used to work at a real newspaper? Rachel Keller: Why is that? Max Rourke: Because you’re the only one who keeps her office door closed. The Ring Two(Quigley has been beaten and left for dead in the Australian desert) Crazy Cora: Don’t worry, on a new job it’s quite common for things not to go well at first. Quigley Down UnderLeonard: You’re not taking

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(from trailer) Kelly Stone: We will try to behave like a *civilized* family! The Family StoneMontresor Herringbone: Pardon me, ladies, but could you spare a coin for a moral cripple? Tales Of Terror(last lines) Bram: Terry? Terry Monroe: Yeah? Bram: Do me a favor. Terry Monroe: Anything. Bram: Turn off that damn machine. (Terry switch off the ECG monitor Bram is hooked up to) Ghost In The

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Maddie Hayes: Unhand me! David Addison: I’ll try, but I don’t think they’ll come off! MoonlightingNelson Rockefeller: Se�or Rivera, I must ask you one last time to reconsider your position. Diego Rivera: I will not compromise my vision. Nelson Rockefeller: In that case, this is your fee, paid in full, as agreed, but your services are no longer required. Diego Rivera: It’s my painting! Nelson

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Jack Black: Kyle, if I was in a wheelchair, would you visit me? Feed me? Brush my teeth? Kyle Gass: Yes. Jack Black: Would you read to me? Kyle Gass: Why couldn’t you read? Jack Black: Just don’t want to. Kyle Gass: Yes. Jack Black: Would you take a bullet for me? Kyle Gass: No. Tenacious DMr Garrison: Gay people, well, gay people are EVIL, evil right down to their cold black hearts which

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Nada: I have come here to chew bubblegum and kick ass. And I’m all out of bubblegum. They LiveHumma Kavula: (confronting Zaphod Beeblebrox for the first time after losing the Galactic Presidential Election to him) The election is ancient history, Zaphod. If memory serves, you won, proving that good looks and charm win over brilliance and the ability to govern. Humma Kavula: (In response to his "

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(before entering Yorgi’s club) Milan Sova: Everyone in this club’s got two things in common; they’re filthy rich and they’re criminals. Xander Cage: I’ll fit in perfect, except for the filthy rich part. XxxDavid Brent: Who says famine has to be depressing? The OfficePaul Atreides: I meddled in the future, in all possible futures, trying to create them. Instead they created me... and I became

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Buck: Hey, I stopped smoking cigarettes. Cindy Russell: Oh, good. Buck: Isn’t that something? I’m on to cigars now. I’m on to a five-year plan. I eliminated cigarettes, then I go to cigars, then I go to pipes, then I go to chewing tobacco, then I’m on to that nicotine gum. Uncle BuckAnne Shirley: I feel as though someone’s handed me the moon... and I don’t exactly know what to do with it. Anne

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Gueni�vre: I don’t have anything against tradition. If I have to wear it, I will. Lancelot: It’s just so people don’t think he has no authority over you. Gueni�vre: I know, that’s why I shout. Lancelot: Well, what we could do is, you wear it all day so people see you have it and then at night, I’ll come and see you discreetly and unpadlock it so you can have a peaceful night. Gueni�vre: That’

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Dickie Greenleaf: How could it take an hour to find an ambulance? Marge Sherwood: She was already dead, darling. Dickie Greenleaf: I don’t know why people say this country is civilised. It isn’t. It’s fucking primitive! The Talented Mr RipleyElizabeth: You’re despicable. Jack Sparrow: Sticks and stones, love. I saved your life, you saved mine. We’re square. Pirates Of The Caribbean The Curse

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Chelsea: (bird sound effect) I hear you, Mr Bird. Chelsea: (toad sound effect) I hear you, Mr Toad. Chelsea: (Raven rushes in and interrupts the scene) And I hear you, Ms Mouth. Thats So RavenWilly Wonka: The suspense is terrible... I hope it lasts. Willy Wonka And The Chocolate FactoryNate: Everything is the same. (Silence) Lisa: Oh, by the way, I’m pregnant, you know. Five months. But you

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(repeated line) Shinra: I know everything. Final Fantasy X 2Johnny Nogerelli: My mom wants you to come over for some pasketti. Grease 2Carlos: What is it with women and the "L" word? Grace Foster: "The "L" Word"? Carlos: You know... Love. Grace Foster: Okay, look, first of all, it’s not all women. I mean, I have never told any guy that I love him. Secondly, I think Levine pretty much loves

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Henry Blake: Jeep crash. Tent... boom... crash... kill. M A S HNorrington: I intend to see to it that any man who sails under a pirate flag or wears a pirate brand gets what he deserves: a short drop and a sudden stop. Pirates Of The Caribbean The Curse Of The Black Pearl(Master Klahn decapitates a prisoner) Klahn: Now take him to be tortured! The Kentucky Fried MovieVassilij: Ludmilla and Anton

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Lilly: You know you look like Shaft? The Princess DiariesReno Hightower: She’s gonna leave me as soon as I fix her car. Jack Dundee: you gonna fix it? Reno Hightower: Hell no! I love her. The Best Of TimesLilah: You know Angel, coming from you, idle threats are just so... idle. (Sticks his hand through the car roof) Angel: You remember when I ripped your car in half? Lilah: Yeah, yeah. Hulk

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T.E. Lawrence: It’s my manner, sir. General Murray: Your manner? T.E. Lawrence: Yes. It looks insubordinate, but it isn’t really. Lawrence Of ArabiaSpartacus: I am not an animal! SpartacusPravin Lal: Scientific theories are judged by the coherence they lend to our natural experience and the simplicity with which they do so. The grand principle of the heavens balances on the razor’s edge of

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Neil Anderson: What kind of experiments are you here for anyway? Eugene O’Fitzpatrick: Paranormal investigations. He thinks he’s Fox Mulder or something. Neil Anderson: Oh, for God’s sake, Ed! You’re not following in the footsteps of your crazy uncle with all that ghost busting nonsense! Ed Spengler: Maybe I am... Eugene O’Fitzpatrick: Well, I know one thing... those proton packs... they’re

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Hercule LaJoy: He beat her. Clouseau: He was Spanish! Hercule LaJoy: He tore her dress off. Clouseau: Oh, don’t be ridiculous. Would you kill someone who tore your dress off? Shot In The Dark ALiz: I knew you’d come to your senses! Strictly BallroomLacey: If I start a Pilates class will you join? Brent LeRoy: That depends. Lacey: On what? Brent LeRoy: On what is Pilates? Lacey: Oh okay.

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Takuma Zaizen: (to Amon) Your emotions are getting in the way, are they? Witch Hunter RobinSexy fan: Can I get an autograph, too? (exposes a portion of her left breast for Adam to sign on) Adam West: You know this is a... permanent marker. Sexy fan: Good. I hope it lasts forever. Return To The Batcave The Misadventures Of Adam And BurtButch: I think this guy’s been drinking Vodka. Carl Quigley:

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Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Pick ’em up and set ’em down Pyle! Full Metal JacketNikki: Who are you calling? Jake, maybe? Look, I know you baby-sit Jenny but, I’m back now, so Jake and I won’t be needing you anymore. Oh, and if there’s anything going on between you and Jake, well you’re not going to be a permanent part of my daughter’s life, so if I were you I wouldn’t get too attached. Peyton: If

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Raziel: You are lost in a maze of moral relativism, Kain. These apparitions and portents... what game are you playing now? Kain: Destiny is a game, is it not? And now you await my latest move... Legacy Of Kain Soul ReaverJohn Royce: I thought we didn’t take our work personally. Sam Gerard: We don’t. I do. Us MarshalsLt Pug: If you dirt weasels think that this is going to be another session of

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(answering the phone in Firefly’s office) Chicolini: Hello? No, not yet. All right, I tell him. Good-a-bye. (He hangs up) That was for you again. Rufus T. Firefly: I wonder whatever became of me? I should have been back here a long time ago. Duck SoupKathie Moffett: I think we deserve a break. Jeff Bailey: We deserve each other. Out Of The PastFry: That’s the saltiest thing I ever tasted, and

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Maude Findlay: Walter, if you lay one hand on that kid then all your friends will be dressed in black and driving with their lights on. MaudeKid: The machines don’t care how old I am. They’ll kill me anyway. Mifune: Ain’t that the goddamn truth! Kid: Please, Captain Mifune, give me a chance. I won’t let you down. Mifune: You do, and you’re gonna find that me and the machines got something in

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Mr Yates: (approaches a woman as she’s about to get into a lifeboat) Madam? (She turns in surprise as he hands her an envelope) If I don’t get through, will you send this to my sister? The address is on it. Night To Remember AMace Windu: The oppression of the Sith will never return. Your plot to regain control of the Republic is over... you have lost... Supreme Chancellor: No, no! (shouts) You

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Jackie Burkhardt: Oh, no. I’m not getting a job. Jobs are for poor people. I’m a rich person who doesn’t have any money. That 70s ShowDr Weird: Gentlmen: There’s a chance, THIS will work! Steve: Uhhh... actually, you said there’s NO chance this would work. Dr Weird: (looks over to see himself hooked up to a vat of BBQ sauce) ... FOOL! That will never work! Aqua Teen Hunger ForceWai Lin: (

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Bobby Walker: You never carry rubbers around? Eddie Miller: No. Bobby Walker: Not even for special occasions? Eddie Miller: Like what, my birthday? No. Diamond Men(Cash advocates killing the Kiowa outside of the house) Ben: All right, Cash. Let’s see if they’re after our scalps first. (shoots the top of one Indian’s lance) Ben: I’m going out to talk. Cash, if they break the peace, kill them.

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Catcher Block: I never once said a word about Nancy Brown, and the only prize I wanted to win, was you. Crazy, Isn’t it? After all our tricking each other and our game playing, I’m the one with the love letter and your the one with the scoop. Still, I’ll keep my eyes on the billboards. Down With LoveDil: What you thinking of, hon? Fergus: I’m thinking of your man. Dil: Why? Fergus: I’m

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Mitch: Note to self: learn to fight. Dirty Work27(the waterhole poisoner has just been mortally wounded by his gang) Cal Brent: Now listen, Mister! Your own pal shot ya. Here’s your chance to square yourself. Who are you workin’ for? Water poisoner: You-you can go wh-where I’m headin! The Roaming CowboyAnubis: You are the one they call "Thor." I am Anubis. Thor: As I have told your lieutenant,

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Debbie: I’m biting my tongue so hard I’m tasting blood. Queer As Folk2Avik: Why do you want to bomb Dresden? Walter Russell: There’s a monster in a room. Once that room was filled with everything that was valuable to him. His train sets, his puppet theatre, his model planes. They’re all broken now. All that’s left untouched is his beautiful collection of Dresden china. You go into that room, you

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Dorothy: He’s coming over. Laurel: Tonight? Dorothy: He just lost his best client. I invited the guy over. Laurel: Dorothy, this is not a guy. It’s a syndrome. Early mid-life. Hanging on to the bottom wrong. "Dear God, don’t let me be alone or I call my newly long suffering assistent without medical for company settlement." If now all you still want is him to come over, I’m not saying anything

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Mike the TV: It’s Bucket ’o Nothing! Surprise your friends, amaze your family, annoy perfect strangers! RebootBalthasar: (during the Crucifixion) I have lived too long. Ben HurByron Sully: There’s an old Indian legend that says man and woman were once united - four arms, four legs, two backs. And one day the great spirit grew angry at this creature and took his tomahawk and cut ’em apart. And

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Herbert Cadbury: Well... I’m already wanted for attempted murder, escaping from jail, and blowing up an aircraft. Breaking and entering sounds right up my alley. Let’s kick some butt, shall we? Richie RichC.J. Cregg: What can I bring into the room about the conference? Sam Seaborn: The sessions are productive, progress is being made, this kind of things take time, all the parties are optimistic

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Lord Farquaad: Evening. Mirror, mirror, on the wall / Is this not the most perfect kingdom of them all? Magic Mirror: Well, technically, you’re not a king. Lord Farquaad: Thelonius? (Thelonius the Executioner smashes a small looking glass) Magic Mirror: (nervous) Er, I mean you’re not a king YET... ShrekAssistant: A little girl is trapped down a well. She needs your words of encouragement.

Adminnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1474517743115448992.post-30126183355272634482012-01-30T03:35:00.001-08:002012-01-30T03:35:17.733-08:00

Fresh: I ain’t run no base for no Esteban. Corky: Oh no? Who was it for then, Santa Claus? (slaps Fresh) Who was it for? Fresh: He gonna kill me if I say. Corky: (Drops Fresh on the floor) I’m gonna ice you right now if you don’t! FreshLaura: Why don’t you give like the rest of the children. Nellie Oleson: My mother say’s we’re not like the rest of the children! Laura: I suppose she’s right.

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Pat Robertson: (about separation of church and state) That was never in the Constitution, however much the liberals laugh at me for saying it, they know good and well it was never in the Constitution! Such language only appeared in the constitution of the Communist Soviet Union. The 700 ClubMichele: Sandy Frink has a helicopter? Romy: Yeah, apparently he’s worth millions. He invented some kind

Adminnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1474517743115448992.post-6866172875724829192012-01-29T15:35:00.001-08:002012-01-29T15:35:17.371-08:00

Gil Renard: Don’t you talk back to me! You show me some respect! Without people like me, you’re nothing! We’re the ones that get you your 40 fuckin’ million! Bobby Rayburn: Look, what do you want? Gil Renard: What do I want? I want every time they think of you, they’re gonna think of me. The Fan73Will: Abby, are you all right? Abby: Yeah, I was just looking at crabs! Will: (Smiling) Abby:

Adminnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1474517743115448992.post-48879905071916962722012-01-29T09:35:00.001-08:002012-01-29T09:35:18.280-08:00

Lorelai: How ya doing there, champ? Rory: Early. Lorelai: Yes, it’s a tad early. Rory: No sun. Lorelai: Well, he’s not up yet. Gilmore GirlsCassie: I blab, nervous habit. Barney Snow: Blab on... I like the sound of it. The Bumblebee Flies AnywayGunnery Sergeant Hartman: Private Pyle! Private Gomer Pyle: Private Pyle reporting as ordered, sir! Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Private Pyle, Private

Adminnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1474517743115448992.post-29020377261748729402012-01-29T03:35:00.001-08:002012-01-29T03:35:17.423-08:00

James Bond: It won’t look like a suicide if you shoot me from over there. Dr Kaufman: I am a professor of forensic medicine. Believe me, Mr Bond, I could shoot you from Stuttgart und still create ze proper effect. Tomorrow Never DiesBilly Peltzer: It’s the creatures! Sheriff Frank: (angered) Ah, the creatures. Billy Peltzer: The creatures are making it look like an accident! GremlinsTick: Well

Adminnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1474517743115448992.post-5798810541233538922012-01-28T21:35:00.001-08:002012-01-28T21:35:16.484-08:00

Cole: Don’t you think you’re being a little paranoid? Phoebe: With my demon ex-husband from hell? CharmedHarry: I can’t be a wizard. I’m just Harry, just Harry. Harry Potter And The Sorcerers StonePeggy Hill: (hysterical) My husband is in there! He had to take this job because nobody else would hire him! EMT: We’re doing everything we can, Mrs Mangione. King Of The HillWilliam H. Bonney: "Dear

Adminnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1474517743115448992.post-84681274085407109872012-01-28T15:35:00.001-08:002012-01-28T15:35:17.062-08:00

Tony Schiavone: Fans, don’t even think about changing the channel, because we’ve learned that at our competition, Mick Foley, who used to wrestle here as Cactus Jack, is going to win their world title! Heh, talk about putting asses in the seats. Wcw Monday NitroSharona Fleming: So you remember how many jelly beans you saw? Adrian Monk: It’s a blessing, and a curse. MonkKip Lurie: Amanda, my love

Adminnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1474517743115448992.post-43668632890560553932012-01-28T09:35:00.001-08:002012-01-28T09:35:17.599-08:00

Ahmed Kaddour: (To Sly) I promise. If it wasn’t for you, I swear I’d hit him. The ContenderLai: You’re always complaining, except when we make love. Then you say nothing. The TransporterStevens: What are you being paid for killing me? Angel Eyes: Five hundred dollars... to get the name. Buono Il Brutto Il Cattivo IlRoss: Hey, Mon, if everything works out between you and Richard’s son, you will

Adminnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1474517743115448992.post-8697129924802203902012-01-28T03:35:00.001-08:002012-01-28T03:35:16.627-08:00

Glenallen Walken: Relax everybody. Breathe regular. (to Secret Service agents) You too. The West WingRachael: I always wanted to be one of the shiny, happy people. The Rage Carrie 2(last lines) The Prime Minister: (over the phone) Ah, Mr Bond. I wanted to call you personnally and to say how pleased we all are that your mission was a success. Thank you. Parrot: Thank you, thank you. The Prime

Adminnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1474517743115448992.post-29808360796795170132012-01-27T21:35:00.001-08:002012-01-27T21:35:17.766-08:00

Santa Butt-Head: Dammit, Beavis, if you try to order me around again, I’m gonna your butt so hard it will turn inside out and come out your mouth. Huh huh huh. That would be cool. Huh huh huh. Beavis And Butt Head Do ChristmasCabal: A division of Hassan’s Elite Guard is closing in on our position. The probability of a favourable outcome can be increased, if we are able to fall back to your main

Adminnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1474517743115448992.post-84072275111791000332012-01-27T15:35:00.001-08:002012-01-27T15:35:18.174-08:00

Storyteller, Twinkle the Marvel Horse: I made you a song... of joy. (puts record on) Storyteller, Twinkle the Marvel Horse: (singing) I had a dream about... some shrieking rats / With red hot pokers, and big pointy hats / They didn’t listen to my cries... or screams / But took their nastiness to *wild* extremes! Dave The BarbarianMushu: My little baby, off to destroy people. MulanMonica: This has

Adminnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1474517743115448992.post-14248559092494264522012-01-27T09:35:00.001-08:002012-01-27T09:35:18.639-08:00

Claudia: I don’t like it. It’s staring at me. Seed Of ChuckyChris Griffin: Yo, did y’all check me when that hottie was all up in my Kool-Aid? Yeah, I was looking to break off a little somethin’ somethin’ but my crew gave me the 411 on that skank and she’s all about the bling-bling. Family GuyRaymond ’Ray’ Brennan: just think when lily becomes president i’ll be her first lady Radio Free RoscoeBond

Adminnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1474517743115448992.post-41155516467257195672012-01-27T03:35:00.001-08:002012-01-27T03:35:16.755-08:00

Aiden Burn: I’m on the toilet! Can you come here? Csi NyKevin: Joan! Can I borrow your hairdryer so I can look extra handsome for my job interview at weiner world? Joan Of ArcadiaYoung Allie: When I’m with Noah I feel like one person and when I’m with you I feel like someone totally different. Lon: Allie, it’s normal not to forget your first love but I want you for myself. I don’t have to

Adminnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1474517743115448992.post-37773705933563023172012-01-26T21:35:00.001-08:002012-01-26T21:35:17.902-08:00

Cliff Fittir: Hey, don’t laugh. I’m actually a bit of an artiste myself, though you wouldn’t know it to look at me. Mirage said as much. Fayt Leingod: She did? Cliff Fittir: That’s right. She said, "You’re the kind of guy who decides with his emotions before using his head." In other words, she thinks I’m an impressionist. Fayt Leingod: I don’t think that’s what she meant... Cliff Fittir:

Adminnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1474517743115448992.post-79260920536782752132012-01-26T15:35:00.001-08:002012-01-26T15:35:18.070-08:00

Voice: No more Mr Nice Guys! Z�sky: (shouts) We are the new masters of the planet! Voice: And anyone who resists us will be crisperized on the spot! (the crowds cheer) Kaput And Zosky The Ultimate ObliteratorsEugene: (brainstorming for a new book) What about this: a tribe of asparagus children, but they’re self-conscious about the way their pee smells. ElfYoung Norman Bates: All that faith and

Adminnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1474517743115448992.post-69148175307297782632012-01-26T09:35:00.001-08:002012-01-26T09:35:17.824-08:00

Raleigh: She’s balling Eli Cash. The Royal Tenenbaums(Owen has just interrupted Jack’s solo) Jack: Uh, excuse me. As Aretha said to Gloria, Celine, Shania, and Mariah during Divas Live... (in an Aretha voice) "Are you trippin’? No one interrupts the Queen of Soul, bitch. OK?" Owen: Well, I believe she also said, "Hey, Cuba, Canada, Cowgirl, Crazy, get out of my light and away from my snacks,

Adminnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1474517743115448992.post-26907401911735606722012-01-26T03:35:00.001-08:002012-01-26T03:35:18.590-08:00

Debbie: Bullshit. You don’t know what love is. You’ve gotten everything you have always wanted and now you’re feeling sorry for yourself because there’s something you want and you can’t have it. But you had it! I gave you love. But you asked me to leave and I left. About Last NightArthur: Batmanuel... you... saved my life! Batmanuel: I have to throw up. The Tick2Woman: Jerry, I need two Rum

Adminnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1474517743115448992.post-42025783273627415662012-01-25T21:35:00.001-08:002012-01-25T21:35:16.699-08:00

George H.W. Bush: (talking about George W. Bush) You always were a little bit slow. The doctors call it dyslexia. But when you were younger we just called it retardation... Saturday Night LiveColonel Stok: I wish to defect, but there are conditions. Harry Palmer: What do you want? Colonel Stok: I want colonel’s pay for life. Harry Palmer: Don’t we all. Colonel Stok: A house in the country.

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Jimmy Fallon: I know what you’re thinking, "There’s been a horrible mistake. I was sent here and Brian Dennehy was sent to the MTV Music Awards." The 58th Annual Tony AwardsPresident James Marshall: Peace isn’t merely the absence of conflict, but the presence of justice. Air Force OneChastity Pariah: Please, I don’t think we need to resort to name calling. I think what Calvin is trying to say is

Adminnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1474517743115448992.post-44769062016188510792012-01-25T09:35:00.001-08:002012-01-25T09:35:17.652-08:00

(from trailer) Ray Ferrier: Get in, Manny, or you’re gonna die! War Of The Worlds Mr2Teresa: If there were no "small people" we wouldn’t know our greatness. Celeste(answering a riddle) Batman: Why is a woman in love like a welder? Because they both carry a torch! BatmanWounded Soldier: What if they ask me where I got hit? Hawkeye: Look them right in the eye and say without blinking, "I got hit

Adminnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1474517743115448992.post-7648208822690369982012-01-25T03:35:00.001-08:002012-01-25T03:35:16.635-08:00

David Stephens: And how would you react, then, if I told you I was the Antichrist? Shallow GraveAl: Al, listen, I’m already done with the first trimester. Now what if what’s left is all good, and we miss out on it? Al: (laughing) You know, I’m finally starting to understand how she got you. Let me explain something to you. There is no such thing as a trimester. There’s actually just one long

Adminnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1474517743115448992.post-88350147546146936232012-01-24T21:35:00.001-08:002012-01-24T21:35:17.572-08:00

Peter Griffin: This party couldn’t be better if Jesus was here. Jesus: For my next miracle, I will turn water... into FUNK. (set turns into disco) Family Guy Pg2Security Officer: I’m sorry, but you’re not on the guest list. David Addison: That’s because we’re not guests. We’re looking for a man with a mole on his nose. Security Officer: A mole on his nose? Maddie Hayes: A mole on his nose.

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Magneto: What’s your name? Pyro: John. Magneto: What’s your real name, John? Pyro: Pyro. X2Dean Winchester: (to his brother, Sam) So who do you think is the hottest psychic? Patricia Arquette? Jennifer Love Hewitt? Or you? SupernaturalPhil: You want a prediction about the weather, you’re asking the wrong Phil. I’ll give you a winter prediction: It’s gonna be cold, it’s gonna be grey, and it’s

Adminnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1474517743115448992.post-37867116788633323552012-01-24T09:35:00.001-08:002012-01-24T09:35:17.258-08:00

Jim Morrison: I’m a fake hero. The DoorsSteve Choe: Are you happy? Ben Manibag: I don’t know. Steve Choe: Fuck. That’s the most truthful thing I’ve ever heard. Better Luck Tomorrow(while Max is giving Alec a fake lap dance to fit in at a strip club) Max Guevara: Can we concentrate on coming up with a plan? X5 494/"Alec": I’m thinking. Max Guevara: You’re talking! X5 494/"Alec": I can do both.

Adminnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1474517743115448992.post-45715288879800999432012-01-24T03:35:00.001-08:002012-01-24T03:35:16.923-08:00

Tony Manero: Last time I came over, I almost got brain damaged. You guys party too hard, you ought to be a tag team. Staying AliveShake: (singing, playing guitar while Meatwad plays MC PeePants in the background) You make me feel... emotional... Meatwad, turn that down! (Meatwad’s music stops) Kissin’ you... (Meatwad’s music resumes) Dammit! That’s it! I’m coming back there... Frylock: Shake,

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Squire Western: Madam, I despise your politics as much as I do a fart. Tom JonesIra Gaines: That’s right, we’re watching you. 24Loren Bray: (pointing to Michaela after an ouburst by Marjorie) And I thought this one was bad! Dr Quinn Medicine WomanGlen: Is mummy ill? Chucky: The courts thought so. Seed Of ChuckyAlbrecht: I thought you were invincible! Eric Draven: Well, I was, I’m not any more.

Adminnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1474517743115448992.post-38427252000643158922012-01-23T15:35:00.001-08:002012-01-23T15:35:17.224-08:00

The Tracker: I also used to read too slow. I don’t need these glasses. (taking off his glasses) The Tracker: ... my eyes being a figment of my imagination. What Dreams May ComeElizabeth Bennet: Insufferable presumption! Pride And Prejudice2Carmine Agnello Jr.: The reindeer is Phat Growing Up GottiFerrari: I know I lost my virginity at prom. How about you? When did you lose your virginity? April:

Adminnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1474517743115448992.post-54036187799797224462012-01-23T09:35:00.001-08:002012-01-23T09:35:17.083-08:00

(Veronica is trying to change a flat tire) Troy: Flat? Veronica: Just as God made me. Veronica MarsConan O’Brien: I’m 6’4" and I have the voice of a nine-year old. Late Night With Conan ObrienHildy Johnson: Of course he had to have a gun to re-enact the crime with. And who do you think supplied it? Peter B. Hartwell. B For brains. His Girl FridayMike: Girls like you come along once in a

Adminnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1474517743115448992.post-10998055596637245832012-01-23T03:35:00.001-08:002012-01-23T03:35:18.329-08:00

Allison Reynolds: I don’t have to runaway and live in the street. I can runaway and I can go to the ocean, I can go to the country, I can go to the mountains. I could go to Israel, Africa, Afghanistan. The Breakfast ClubMitzi: What fun. Baby bottles of booze. The Adventures Of Priscilla Queen Of The DesertHamtaro: (repeated line in the Japanese and English version - But not American) What would

Adminnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1474517743115448992.post-63932434656623943282012-01-22T21:35:00.001-08:002012-01-22T21:35:18.410-08:00

Zim: Do not question me! I control your arms! Invader ZimSocial Security Clerk: I’m going to ask again, do you have evidence of birth? Simon Wilder: I’m sittin’ here ain’t I lady? What do you think, I happened by spontaneous combustion? With HonorsRoxie Hart: (singing) Oh yes, oh yes, oh yes we both, oh yes we both, oh yes we both reached for the gun, the gun, the gun, the gun. Oh, yes, we both

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Yar: Babies grow up! You keep that thing, one day, we’ll turn our backs, it’ll be picking us out of its teeth! Things like THAT eat things like US as SNACKS! DinosaurFiona Gallagher: We could say Dad’s lost the plot, so a home visit’s a bit awkward at the moment. Lip: We could say Dad’s drank the plot. ShamelessMaggie McFly: I hope you’re considering your own future, Mr Eastwood. Marty McFly: I

Adminnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1474517743115448992.post-69458153384696717622012-01-22T09:35:00.001-08:002012-01-22T09:35:18.597-08:00

Mike: Hey, Homestar, I’ve got a new friend for you. Homestar Runner: Uh-oh... last time you said that? Mike: (holds up a Kick-The-Cheat doll) Homestar Runner: What in blue blazes is that? Mike: (hits the Kick the Cheat doll, causing it to make The Cheat noises) Homestar Runner: Oooh. Mike: (hits it again, causing it to make more The Cheat noises) Homestar Runner: Don’t do it again. Mike:

Adminnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1474517743115448992.post-7037761076765743612012-01-22T03:35:00.001-08:002012-01-22T03:35:17.676-08:00

Stephen Colbert: What kind of madman refuses to produce evidence that he doesn’t have what he said he didn’t? Saddam had to be taken out or who knows what else he might not have done? It’s imaginable. The Daily ShowMrs Lazzlo: Listen, cutie pie when they reposess the truck, you won’t have to leave them any gas. Franklin: Right, you’re the expert on gas, Mom. CarpoolGnomes: Five fierce guards of

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Lister: It’s stupid anyway, all this maintenance business. The only reason they don’t give this job to the service robots is they’ve got a better union than us. Red DwarfCol Robert Stout: Could you get a message down to XXXth Corps on that dingus? Radio Operator: Yes, sir. Uh, we just got word from the 82nd up ahead. They captured the Graves bridge completely intact! Col Robert Stout: Aw, that’

Adminnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1474517743115448992.post-31774418502985765582012-01-21T15:35:00.001-08:002012-01-21T15:35:18.205-08:00

Cal: Why do you need to talk to Nitz so freakin’ bad? Rocko: Well, now that you’re not an idiot, I don’t hate you, so nothing makes sense any more. For example, I was thinking of eating this sock puppet, because that makes as much sense as me liking you. UndergradsC.R. MacNamara: Cigarette? Cigar? Peripetchikoff: Here, take one of these. C.R. Macnamara: Thanks. Hm, ’Made in Havana’.

Adminnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1474517743115448992.post-10197318607494286682012-01-21T09:35:00.001-08:002012-01-21T09:35:18.376-08:00

(a woman is making a pass at Carter) Carter: Your heterosexual powers have no effect on me. Spin CityTobias Beecher: (to Schillinger) Whatcha readin’? Mein Kampf? Well, let me tell you how it ends. The Aryans get their asses kicked! OzWiley: Can I get you anything? Tea? Pop? Water? Bondage Film? Totally ConfusedRico: What else is on your mind besides one hundred proof women, ninety proof whiskey

Adminnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1474517743115448992.post-90524802666576794662012-01-21T03:35:00.001-08:002012-01-21T03:35:17.325-08:00

(first lines) HMS Ranger Navigator: Captain wants to keep 500 feet. Young officer, HMS Ranger: (over PA) Maneuvering, Control. Come in shallow to 500 feet. Young officer, HMS Ranger: (to crewman) Keep 500 feet HMS Ranger crewman: Keep 500 feet, sir. The Spy Who Loved Me(Newscast from opening credits) Reporter: And the senator, while insisting he was not intoxicated, could not explain his nudity

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(Joyce and Dawn are staying with Spike) Spike: Just don’t break anything. And don’t make a lotta noise. Passions is coming on. Joyce: Passions? Oh, do you think Timmy’s really dead? Spike: Oh, no, no. She can just sew him back together. He’s a doll, for God’s sake. Joyce: Ah, what about the wedding? I mean, there’s no way they’re gonna go through with that. Buffy The Vampire Slayer Pg3Punkers

Adminnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1474517743115448992.post-24077350319829448892012-01-20T15:35:00.001-08:002012-01-20T15:35:17.338-08:00

(Eric just announced his plans to move away) Red Forman: I’m proud of you. Kitty Forman: And that goes double for... what the hell did you say? That 70s ShowJareth: I ask for so little. Just fear me, love me, do as I say and I will be your slave. Labyrinth(after being punched in the stomach by Keaton) Verbal: I’ll probably shit blood tonight. The Usual SuspectsJosh Lyman: Where are you going?

Adminnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1474517743115448992.post-20365547133281515302012-01-20T09:35:00.001-08:002012-01-20T09:35:17.322-08:00

Fulvio Nesstra: If only something would change, I know life could be sweet. I could be too. I wanna be sweet. Gun ShyJack Eliot: We’re not athletes, we’re baseball players! Mr BaseballReverend Llewellyn Llewellyn Llewellyn Llewellyn: Enjoyment? There is no enjoyment at the Eisteddfod. Eistedfod is an old Welsh word, from the old Welsh. It comes from two words: "eistedd" meaning "bored" and "fod"

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Art Selwyn: Beautiful beach, a sunny day and good friends. What more can a man ask for? Joe Finley: (Pointing to young girls in bikinis) Can I have some of that please? Cocoon The ReturnJimmy Hoffa: If a guy’s close to you, you can’t slight ’im. You can’t slight that guy. A real grievance can be resolved; differences can be resolved. But an imaginary hurt, a slight - that motherfucker gonna hate

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Jamie: Coop! Blow these guys up! Coop: I can’t! They’re not the bad guys! Jamie: That’s never stopped you before! Megas XlrJerry ’The King’ Lawler: She shouldn’t even be here right now, she should be in the back with Mr McMahon, having fun. JR: How do you know that was fun? Jerry ’The King’ Lawler: What do you mean how would that be fun? You don’t think that would be fun? JR: Well, he’s not

Adminnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1474517743115448992.post-69960303638069189402012-01-19T15:35:00.001-08:002012-01-19T15:35:18.289-08:00

Dan Scott: (after Dan finds out that Deb has been abusing perscriptioned medication) How long, with the pills? Deb Scott: Since I quit my job. Dan Scott: Why? Deb Scott: Because I’m married to you. One Tree HillJacqueline: Mother, it is only a ball. Baroness Rodmilla De Ghent: Yes, and you’re only going for the food. Ever AfterSusan: Vicki, have you seen my car keys? Vicki: No and you don’t

Adminnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1474517743115448992.post-34524502845192925992012-01-19T09:35:00.001-08:002012-01-19T09:35:17.998-08:00

(arriving at the airfield) Revell: Mr President, are you all right? President Fowler: Jesus, Gene, how the hell do you think I am? How many casualties? Revell: We don’t know. President Fowler: Cabot said it was Russian, how the hell did they get it in? Revell: We don’t know. Radar didn’t pick it up, so it wasn’t a missile. President Fowler: Well... how is Cabot, is he all right? Revell: I

Adminnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1474517743115448992.post-59772283177414626682012-01-19T03:35:00.001-08:002012-01-19T03:35:17.276-08:00

Sweet Dick Willie: You wanna boycott someone? You ought to start with the goddamn barber that fucked up your head. Do The Right ThingMercy Croft: It so happens that your death will coincide with road safety week, a cause which we know is very close to your heart. The Killing Of Sister GeorgeBen Grimm: I need to borrow your car. Old Lady with Car #1: The transmission sticks. Ben Grimm: That’s not

Adminnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1474517743115448992.post-22236166911936970182012-01-18T21:35:00.001-08:002012-01-18T21:35:17.803-08:00

Elvira Powell: I didn’t know what kind of a heel Harper is. She’s like a cop I was sweet on once. He had to work guys over for no reason at all, just because it made him feel important. If I’d known I wouldn’t have started on you. CagedLt Keith: Situation quiet; the Captain’s been put away for the night. The Caine MutinyGeorge Hanson: I’m simple, that’s why I teach first grade. The Object Of My

Adminnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1474517743115448992.post-76751206946814671432012-01-18T15:35:00.001-08:002012-01-18T15:35:18.447-08:00

Mel Gibson: I have to use that money to build my own church. I’ve brought the fire and brimstone back to Christianity with The Passion, and now I’m going to start my own church. And do you know why? So I can play banjo! Jesus, oh how I love Ya, how I love Ya, Jesuuus! Stan: Dude, this guy is freaking daffy! Mel Gibson: How dare you call me crazy! This means war! (pulls out a gun and starts

Adminnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1474517743115448992.post-32349498696273412452012-01-18T09:35:00.001-08:002012-01-18T09:35:17.722-08:00

(Bond dangles from a cable car a thousand feet up) Dr Holly Goodhead: Hang on! James Bond: The thought had occurred to me. MoonrakerAlvin: Well I’m as much agin killin’ as ever sir. --- But it was this way Colonel. --- When I started out I felt just like you said, but when I hear them machine guns a goin’ and all them fellas are droppin’ around me --- I figured them guns was killin’ hundreds

Adminnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1474517743115448992.post-50837858481406735002012-01-18T03:35:00.001-08:002012-01-18T03:35:17.377-08:00

Dick Stensland: You’re like Santa Claus with that list, Bud, except everyone on it’s been naughty. La ConfidentialAndrew Wyke: Whether I love her or not, I found her. I’ve kept her. She represents me. Once, she was in love with me. Milo Tindle: And now she’s in love with me. And you can’t forgive that. SleuthGlen: (thinks he’s Japanese because of his "Made in Japan" lable) Konnichiwa, okaasan.

Adminnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1474517743115448992.post-54544297338613362322012-01-17T21:35:00.001-08:002012-01-17T21:35:16.749-08:00

King Francis: I will simply deny you the crown and live... forever! Ever AfterSensi: Hey, whatcha growing there? Sam "The Gardener": Promise not to tell anybody... (pulls back a bush to reveal a hidden pot garden) I got plants in all my customers gardens. Sensi: Sweet! Sam "The Gardener": This one’s Purple Kush, and this one’s AK-47, and this one here... (Sensi and Sam simultaneously touch the

Adminnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1474517743115448992.post-43848380040082633792012-01-17T15:35:00.001-08:002012-01-17T15:35:17.105-08:00

(welcoming Capt S. Melly) Sgt. Maj. Tiger Bloomer: (shouts) Welcome to 1313 anti-aircraft battery Sir! Carry On EnglandJackie Price: Jack Starks is *dead*. The JacketDr Cox: Look. Barry... Barry’s a... he’s a great guy. Turk: Yeah. I totally forgot the rule to the transplant list is no drinking, unless Cox says you’re a great guy. Dr Cox: Come on, pally, guy’s been on the transplant list for

Adminnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1474517743115448992.post-84640650238728116152012-01-17T09:35:00.001-08:002012-01-17T09:35:19.086-08:00

Xander: Great plan, it’s right up there with duck and cover. Buffy The Vampire Slayer Pg2Oliver: Now isn’t this nice? Stan: It sure is. We’re just like two peas in a pot. Sons Of The DesertAlton Kachim: Dude, did you see that? Hate CrimeRicky Gervais: (in the summer drought of 1976 in Reading, where Gervais grew up) There was a government advert at the time that said, "Save water: have a bath

Adminnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1474517743115448992.post-26569531738397324152012-01-17T03:35:00.001-08:002012-01-17T03:35:17.399-08:00

(Harry is describing Ken to a client) Harry Crawford: He’s a bit of a rough diamond, but his heart’s in the right place. (guard dog barks, apparently in agreement) Ken Boon: (to himself) My sentiments exactly, old son. BoonBill Gates: I didn’t get rich by signing checks. The Simpsons Pg3Crowley: What’s the night worth to you anyway, Lash, huh? You and me naked, horizontal and sweaty, huh? (

Adminnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1474517743115448992.post-28165609909193052152012-01-16T21:35:00.001-08:002012-01-16T21:35:17.414-08:00

Brenda: Shorty, if you go to class once in a while you would learn. Shorty: I do go to class. Brenda: Shorty, lunch is not a class. Shorty: It is if you got the munchies! Scary MovieRay Hughes: It’s not the volts. It’s the amps. Running ScaredRichard Channing Denault: Don’t buy a new hat because I’m going to tear your head off! Falcon CrestLucky: We’re exhausted. Rolly: How long do we have to

Adminnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1474517743115448992.post-79290399700989527802012-01-16T15:35:00.001-08:002012-01-16T15:35:17.244-08:00

Exeter: Into the converter tubes. Ruth, you take the first tube. Cal, you take the second. Cal Meecham: What about you? Exeter: I’ll take the third tube. Tom Servo: (as Cal) Oh, right. Stupid question. Mystery Science Theater 3000 The MovieMicheal: Where are you going? Maria: Santa Fe. Micheal: Maria, where are you going? Maria: Michael. Micheal: Liz doesn’t want us to know because she and

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